It is really hard to eat healthy when you have a good week of failed improv cooking. I'll say it now: I'm a recipe follower. Grabbing random things and cooking them up is not my forte. Example: Last night I thought it would be a wonderful idea to cook up some basmati rice and add a spice packet...
Okay, I have to preface this by letting you all know that the "I could make that" gene runs in my family. This is the reason none of us ever shop at the mall. Prom dress shopping was a nightmare as a high school kid because every time I pointed out something I liked, my mom would look at the price tag and exclaim, "Woah! Ninety bucks! I could make that for ten!" You have to understand though, that while we all profess to be able to construct things ourselves, we'll never actually do it.
Well, I broke tradition and remembered the spices on the back of the spice packet. Instead of just paying the $1.50, I tried combining the spices into my own mix, figuring that it should taste about the same. Yeah... somehow I undercooked the rice and overestimated the spice to rice ratio. It was crunchy and powdery. Adding cilantro did nothing. The only way I can describe the taste was dumb.
Definition of "Tasting dumb": You know exactly what was done in the cooking process, and you know what it's supposed to taste like, but what goes in your mouth illicits the almost instantaneous reaction of, "What the heck am I going to do with all food?"
Past instances of tasting dumb have included this thing I have a photo of. I saw it at the store and thought, "It's huge! I wonder what it tastes like?" I still don't know what it is, but I do know that it has a pulp/skin that is very foamy and at least an inch and a half thick. I also made a Peanut Butter African Stew once. It ultimately came out to be melted peanut butter with barley and stuff. When I took it out of the fridge in the morning, it had solidified back into peanut butter... but with stuff in it. I had at least a gallon that my husband and I had to hold upside down over the sink while we jabbed at it with a spatula. It finally globbed out with a release of pressure and a giant sucking sound.
Today I tried to survive on leftover cut up pork chop, crackers, and orange and carrots. That explains why I'm totally craving gummie bears and nachos right now.
2. If anyone knows some good kitchen gods aside from Hestia, let me know. I think I need their divine help in sufficiently restocking my refrigerator.
Chocolate Quote of the Day
"You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar."
"You know an odd feeling? Sitting on the toilet eating a chocolate candy bar."
- George Carlin