CHRIS WONDOLOWSKI & A PINATA, YESTERDAY

ON ONE HAND HE HELPS THE KID BREAK OPEN THE PINATA. ON THE OTHER HAND HE WALKS OFF WITH HIS CANDY. ASK YOURSELF WHO'S REALLY EVIL HERE: THE PINATA OR WONDO?

Exactly Who is Chris Wondolowski Really?

Just what do we know about this Chris Wondolowski other than he is a dreamkiller for all who dare try to defend against him this year? Did he really go to a school called Chico State? And in what country is the state of Chico located? Is he a socialist "muslin"? Which side is he picking in this whole Steven Tyler v. Kid Rock beef? And how did he get so cotdamn lethal this year? Julie Foudy (yes, Julie Foudy) tries to find out the answers to some of these on a couch set in a goalmouth for the good of the New Soccer Nation.

Wondolowski The Hottest Thing to Hit the Bay Since Hyphy

There was a time in 2009 when joked on the very blog about Chris Wondolowski. I said something to the effect of "Where the hell does San Jose think they are going to get the goals from, Chris Wondolowski?" A year later I guess the answer "hell to the yes."

If you didn't see dude's hat-trick-in-a-half performance last night go to the day job and check out the highlights. Having scored the 'Quakes last nine goals he is totes & completes on fire right now; if this fool doesn't get the MVP I will protest in my own office.