JPA Jr is Cold

If this little nipper's skills look familiar you're not tripping. It's because he's Juan Pablo Angel's son Tomy. Anyone have an opening in their academy for the junior cherub? What say you LA or NY? Can you take him in as a "legacy" player or is it only frats that do that?

VIDEO: Dallas Cup Gets Done Up

Good lord. Nike has done the impossible, which according to adidas "is nothing", and actually got me hyped-up for a youth soccer (shudder) tournament. Incredible. Is there anything in soccer that they can't make sexxxy? Oh wait, I forgot about last year's Air Maxs...those sh*ts were dreadful.

Thai Children Are Tougher Than You, Me and Everyone Else

How tough were the feet on these kids? I mean they're running over nails and splintered wood with bare feet! I bet you their soles are so hard that you could sharpen knives on them sh*ts.

They've also got soul; what else could make you build a floating, wooden pitch in what looks to be one of the most humid places on Earth?

RSL & Their Breakdancing Lion are Coming for Your Children

When I was in elementry school we had the theatre students from the local community college (Grayson County Community College, stand up!) come by and do a rendition of "Peter Pan." It sucked. But the privileged youth of today? They get a cotdamn back-flipping, boogalooing, soccer-obsessed lion to come to their auditorium and indoctrinate them into the church of MLS. Did I get jipped or what?

And BTW isn't this eerily reminiscent of the Minotaur Energy Drink presentation in the film Role Models?