David Beckham Has No Regrets

Becks has no regrets about coming to America. Not even this haircut. But in all seriousness, this is probably the most MLS-centric interview with our David we've seen since his first season here. But why do they have to bring up the chicken?

Agudelo x Cooper x Beckham x adidas

Them boys are all in and I like it. And is that a new Justice track I hear?

Beckham Stays Up Late to Confesses to Dandyism, Being Slow and Thinking About Getting His Bits & Pieces Tattooed

11+ minutes of an Englishman and Scot having a laugh without aid of drink.

Beckham Still Talking About Taking a Seat at the Owners Table

In case you missed it over the weekend, FOX Soccer --they're moving away from the whole "FSC" thing-- dropped one of the lengthiest interviews with Becks that we've seen in a while. Or at least one of the lengthiest interviews that didn't take place on the couch of a late-night talk show.

I'm fascinated with his continued talk of owning a club after he retires. Outside of New York and Miami I can't imagine where he would set up shop; no offense to the good people of Atlanta, Detroit, San Diego or North Carolina but I just can't see him going anywhere that doesn't have some air of superficial glamor. I know it's all about business (unfortunately) but can you really see him reviving the Tulsa Roughnecks or some sh*t like that?

Actually now that I think about it there is one old NASL market I could see him dropping paper on. It's probably a long shot but sweet Lord in heaven it would be one hell of a road trip.

VIDEO: Becks Talking Refs in Canuckistan Last Night

"I'll probably get in trouble but it's gone on too long."

Things I Meant To Address Yesterday But Didn't Pt.1: Snoop, Becks & Babies

Do babies really need shoes, let alone "house shoes"? And should they need such an item, do they need designer "house shoes"? And should said designer footwear be created by the famed "house shoe" enthusiast Snoop Dogg and Brand Beckham?

Personally I think "why not?" People have been dropping cash on $100 Baby Jordans for years even though their kids can't walk, let alone dunk in them. So why not let your babies lay in the cut while rocking the random product of a relationship cemented over chicken & waffles.

Video: Becks Does Kimmel

For my money the best bit in this clip (and part 2) is the revelation that his son still has to tryout for a soccer team. Can you imagine the roster squabble that will inevitably ensue amongst the local youth coaches when they realize that the lanky kid with the accent is a S.O.B. (Son of Beckham)? $5 and a used copy of Miracle Match says that someone gets brained with a Gatorade bucket in the resulting melee.

Can Anyone Tell Me...

Can anyone tell me what in the hell David Beckham is doing on this play? I honestly have no idea. His headband is applying more pressure to his hair than he is to Javi Morales.

I keep rewinding and rewinding this and can't decide what's funnier: Becks' seeming aloofness or Javi's "I'm gonna fake like I'm exhausted then sprint like a stole something"-routine.

First Kick 2011: Will Becks Rock the Combover in Seattle?

Another MLS season, another new look from Brand Beckham. But isn't dude a little too young to rock a combover? Maybe he's going for a Miike Snow look, I dunno. What do y'all think?

SuperDraft 2007: Raw, Uncut & Dated

I have no idea where this came from but if you can get past the first 1.5mins it’s kinda fantastic: 25+ minutes of outtakes and unfiltered footage from the 2007 SuperDraft, the first MLS draft to ever be televised.

It’s as long as Marco Ethceverry’s Jheri Curl mullet but kinda funny. It has talk of Beckham’s arrival (which was announced the day before), Alan Hopkins playing hype man to the Chicago & Columbus supporters in the house, Mo Edu rapping and Rob Stone cussin'. Oh and Wynalda taking phone calls about land deals. Good times.

H/T to KR for the heads up.

Becks Gets Award, Gets All Teary, Gets to Talking About Another Loan

It must be nice to be David Beckham. Dude can get on stage and receive a major award from Sir Bobby Charlton with his outlandishly attractive family filling the front row and damn near cry and no one's going to say sh*t. Or at least I won't say say sh*t because I'm an artist cotdamnit, and I know what it's like to be all sensitive and whatnot. So I honestly can't hate on him for his lip-trembling.

Now this "fingers-crossed" for another loan stuff is another matter entirely. It just seems like playing for England is his number one priority (again) and that making statements like these are just his version of letting the Galaxy faithful down easily. I mean people just got over being pissed off about his last stint away. And didn't he get jacked up for 9+ months because of his last loan?

Hopefully if he didn't learn his lesson --that no matter how fit he is he's a 35 year-old man and needs to take care of his body-- the Galaxy learned theirs.

ESPNLA With the (Balls) Deep Read on David Beckham

Leave it to ESPN Los Angeles' Scott French, who incidentally looks like a hybrid between Terry Richardson and his excellence David Hirshey, to knock out probably the lengthiest written piece on Goldenballs since The Beckham Experiment. It may not be a book but make no mistake this is a long, damn near ginormous article that might actually be worthy of being described with the much-overused adjective "epic."

If you've got the day off, are retired, are currently imprisoned or just don't give a damn about doing actual work this morning you should definitely give this a read. It's engaging stuff. Just be sure to grab a coffee or go the restroom first because this could take a while.

Beckham Deemed Funny/Not Funny Enough for SNL

Allegedly there is an offer on the table for David Beckham to host Saturday Night Live. Apparently Lorne Micahaels' people saw that Ellen bit from a few weeks ago and think he'd be a good fit. Also, he can't be any worse at it than Deion Sanders was. As a fan of the sport of soccer and SNL I have nothing but the highest hopes that this will come to pass.

I do have a suggestion however. It would be cool if his monologue began with something like "I'm David Beckham, this is my first time hosting SNL. I play soccer for the reigning MLS Cup champions, the LA Galaxy." That's sounds much better than "I'm David Beckham and I play for the LA Galaxy, who were top of the table all year thrn lost in final to a team from Colorado you've never heard of." Not that LA needs any more motivation to win a trophy but please do it so MLS can get a mention on SNL where it isn't the butt of the joke.

Also, you should remake "Dick in a Box" but with the box in question being the 18 yarder. The ladies and homosexualists might appreciate that I reckon.

"People Tell Me Sometimes That I Have Skin Like Baby Peaches"

I can guarantee you that this hidden camera video of David Beckham and a masseuse has nothing to with Becks coming out of a Thai massage parlor late one night and everything to do with Ellen and David being bezzie, bezzie mates. This is actually much funnier than I would think it would be...and I think I'm going to call Becks "Ricky" next time I see him.