Chivas El Paso Patriots: The Borderland's Safest Soccer

Totally forgot the Chivas empire has an El Paso outpost in the form of Chivas El Paso Patriots. An unwieldy name for sure but not a bad promo video. I do wonder who goes to see a PDL team when you have a Mexican sometime-1st Division side Indios just across the river. People who don't want to be macheted to death and have their body parts placed around town like some kind of twisted scavenger hunt I reckon.

A Better Life Trailer

Above is the trailer for A Better Life, a hotly-tipped new film about an LA gardener who's a single dad trying to improve his station in life and keep his son out of the Southland's gang scene. Not that I'm a Latino gardener living in SoCal but as father to a young son living in a f***ed up neighborhood --while I was away for work last week there were 2 shootings within blocks of our home-- I can relate to this on some level.

All that aside, there is a soccer hook here. Watch the trailer closely and you'll notice that the son is something of a Chivas USA diehard. Kid has a Goats poster on his bedroom door and a blanket on his bed. There's also a scene that sees the son being dropped off what appears to be the Home Depot Center. Looks like the Galaxy aren't the only ones who can go Hollywood on occasion.

The Best Faux NY Post Headline You Will Read Today

"Goats Gore Bulls in Belated Battle of Barnyard Beasts"

That's all I have because that headline would shine brighter than anything I could write about that game. I challenge you to do better. No, seriously please leave your own terrible/brilliant NY Post-style headline in the comments. I need to be entertained this morning.

VIDEO: Walk Among Us

As mentioned the other day, Seattle-based energy drink slingers Golazo have commissioned a short, short film centered on MLS fans & supporters entitled Walk Among Us. It's attractive stuff full of color, noise and (appropriately) energy. If you have 5 minutes to spare before tonight's big match give it a click; hopefully the nation sees this kind of passion tonight on ESPN2.

The Best Chivas USA Video You Will See Today

Damn, them Goat girls can get it on the floor. Y'all go.

No Love for LA

For whatever reason, this week LA has usurped Rebecca Black's "Friday" as the focal point of America's hatred. Luke Rodgers thinks their captain is "a prick". Former striker Carlos Ruiz says they ain't all that. And roommates/renters Chivas USA thinks their fans are as artificial as crash test dummies. Oh well, I guess that's just what happens when you're on top.

But on the flip side they did get awarded MLS Cup for this year. No matter how whack you think they are you can't hate on going somewhere that will be 80 degrees the week before Thanksgiving. So unless you live in Miami this is nothing but a win for all of us. Keep hating haters but know that LA will be giving you warm, sunny poolside tongue kisses in November. Just sayin'.

SF Isn't the Only One Road Trippin' Right Now

My dude Nicky Firchau and a crew from the day job are out on a left coast road trip all week as they make their way from LA to Seattle for First Kick. Yesterday the checked in with Chivas USA and hassled Jimmy Conrad and went by Heath Pearce & Zarek Valentin's bachelor pad to play games on a couch (as you do). But enough from me, let Jackie & Nick tell you about it since they were there.

CHIVAS USA MIGHT GET GHANAIAN GOAT

ALLEGEDLY CHIVAS USA ARE SIGNING THIS GUY. I DON'T KNOW WHO HE IS BUT HE'S A MEMBER OF THE GHANAIAN NATIONAL TEAM AND HAS A MIXTAPE LONGER THAN THE LAST DROPDEAD ALBUM SO SURELY HE'S SOMEBODY TO SOMEONE. QUESTION IS "IS HE SOMEONE THAT CAN DISPLACE JIMMY CONRAD, HEATH PEARCE OR ZAREK VALENTIN?"

Random Ramble: Charlie Davies Is The New John O'Brien (Maybe)

Last night while sipping Oban with my dude Brent in the bar at the Hudson Hotel I did something truly rare: I thought of John O'Brien. This was because Brent brought him up when waxing nostalgic about about the 2002 World Cup, JOB's command of the U.S. midfield against Portugal while Claudio Reyna sat the bench and the feeling among many U.S. fans that this dude was the future.

On some level what's going on right now with Charlie Davies is very similar. Kid had game, did work in the relative anonymity of one of Europe's less glamorous leagues, shined on the international stage just long enough for everybody to catch feelings for him and then he got injured. Now he's trying resurrect his career --if he's deemed fit, focused and worthy-- by coming to play in MLS for the first time. It's kind of a surface comparison but there's no doubting the parallels.

Having said that I hope the CD9 story ends better than the JOB story; O'brien ended up signing for Chivas USA and only made a single appearance before calling an end to his career. But I'm getting ahead of myself as we'll have to just wait and see if he even passes muster in D.C. first before worrying about him getting actual playing time. Tell you this though, this week in Ft. Lauderdale will be DCU's most scrutinized week of pre-season camp since the Freddy Adu days.

Chivas USA Fans: Does This Picture Scare You?

That's your new coach and his assistant in the colors of the enemy; they're basically getting the band back together but on a new label...are y'all down with it?

Who Wants to Hear a Smoothed Out Chivas USA Posse Cut?

You do, that's who. You want to hear Michael Lahoud ft. Chukwudi Chijindu's "Living The Life", a smoothed-out hip-hop/R&B hybrid that it just crying out for a video shot on a boat featuring the boys (boyz?) adorned in ample amounts of white linen, bikini-clad Chiva Girls and a handful of live goats rocking Kardashian-thick dookie ropes. It would be ridiculous.

The cherry on top would be an ending shot of Justin Braun aka J Money aka Daddy* "repping the 801, Salt Lake City" from the bow of the boat, arms outstretched with an unbuttoned shirt flowing in the breeze and a bottle of Nuvo in one hand as he delivers his closing lines. Magic. Somebody get Hype Williams on the phone and make this happen.

Bonus cut: the making of "Living the Life."

*Yes, he calls himself "Daddy" on the track. Riot Squad, do your worst.