Haters Rejoice! MLS Beef Weekend is Upon Us!

Helluva weekend to be an MLS fan. Not only do we get the O.G. MLS beef, NY v. D.C., on Saturday night but we get the latest installment of Gerald Ford-era footie fight Portland v. Seattle on Sunday afternoon. The only way this could have been scheduled any better would have been a Friday night fight between LA and Chivas USA. Oh well, we can't have it all can we.

I may have my preferences for the outcome of each of these matches but I think one will be close and the other will be an ass-whipping. And before you assume it, I don't think that it will be the Taurine Army doing the ass-whipping (they can't play Toronto every week).

You Know You are a Baller If...

You know you are a baller if you give interviews on a golf course and you are not a player in the PGA. Check out The Don getting all Big Willy and talking expansion, the D.C. stadium saga and various other messageboardy topics in between working on his short game. Play on boss.

United Want D.C., Baltimore Want United

“We continue to work on this in both D.C. and Baltimore. We’re looking at several sites in D.C. We’ve had several conversations with the District. There’s no specific proposals being discussed at this time, but I believe there is a general consensus in the Wilson Building [city government headquarters] that they certainly want D.C. United to remain in D.C. On the other hand, Baltimore will probably come forward with a pretty solid proposal. There’s certainly a great location in Baltimore and a willing developer. We’ll be deciding, I hope, sometime this year what our future is.

“As far as which of the two cities, our name is D.C. United and we don’t take that lightly, but the Baltimore opportunity is a real one and we have to take it seriously and do our due diligence in both locations.”

-D.C. United President Kevin Payne on the D.C. stadium situation.

I'd never wish relocation on anyone, no matter which club they support, but not knowing anything from anything the last few updates from D.C. on the stadium situation make it seem like a move to Charm City is a real option. Not the first option or the best option but definitely a viable one. It almost seems we're being braced for it through a series of honest updates that will make for a nice bread crumb trail if a move to Baltimore ever happens.

But let's hope it doesn't because D.C. United belongs in D.C. Not in another city or a random beltway suburb. Although the location of their future stadium is unclear it's fairly certain that RFK Stadium, their home for the last 16 seasons, will not be the place they call home 16 years from now.

What to do when there's no future at home? Tough decisions could be looming in the nation's capital and not just on The Hill & in the Oval Office.

D.C. v. New York: The Beef Is Back!

Yes, yes y'all! The original MLS big beef is back tonight and I for one couldn't be more stoked about it. With all due respect to the Trillium Cup-ers, the LA derby duo and the Rocky Mountain Cup crew this is the O.G. must-see game. Seriously, there is more hate going on between these two towns than in the entire collected works of Clayton Bigsby. Can't. Wait.

VIDEO: The Resurrection of Charlies Davies

I don't care which club you support, this is a beautiful thing to see. Welcome back Charlie Davies.

Open Position: D.C. United Goalkeeper

Think you have what it takes to mind the nets at RFK Stadium? If so, then ask yourself the following questions:

• Are you Pat Onstad in disguise?
• Do you know what a partial allocation is (and if so could you tell us)?
• Would it offend you to be acquired in a trade for Kurt Morsink?

If you answered "who's asking", "of course not, no one does" and the always ambiguous "pfft", the Washington Post thinks you could be the guy. And who says it's hard to find a job In These Tough Economic Times™?

Now This is Beautiful

It's not much but it's beautiful. Who thought a year ago you would ever see CD9 beat a guy to a ball in the corner even in a practice game (and in an MLS kit to boot)? Whatever happens, you can't say the dude isn't a fighter.

Random Ramble: Charlie Davies Is The New John O'Brien (Maybe)

Last night while sipping Oban with my dude Brent in the bar at the Hudson Hotel I did something truly rare: I thought of John O'Brien. This was because Brent brought him up when waxing nostalgic about about the 2002 World Cup, JOB's command of the U.S. midfield against Portugal while Claudio Reyna sat the bench and the feeling among many U.S. fans that this dude was the future.

On some level what's going on right now with Charlie Davies is very similar. Kid had game, did work in the relative anonymity of one of Europe's less glamorous leagues, shined on the international stage just long enough for everybody to catch feelings for him and then he got injured. Now he's trying resurrect his career --if he's deemed fit, focused and worthy-- by coming to play in MLS for the first time. It's kind of a surface comparison but there's no doubting the parallels.

Having said that I hope the CD9 story ends better than the JOB story; O'brien ended up signing for Chivas USA and only made a single appearance before calling an end to his career. But I'm getting ahead of myself as we'll have to just wait and see if he even passes muster in D.C. first before worrying about him getting actual playing time. Tell you this though, this week in Ft. Lauderdale will be DCU's most scrutinized week of pre-season camp since the Freddy Adu days.

And You Thought Your Team Has Silly Name

Joseph Ngwenya is now D.C. United property but reports out of Africa say he's still in his native Zimbabwe and training with a local club called...Chicken Inn. Suddenly Thailand Tobacco Monopoly doesn't seem that bad.

A Random Ramble on D.C. and Baltimore

"I’m assuming that the [Baltimore] feasibility study won’t come out until after election day. We’ve had conversations in the District, and there’s a couple of developers helping us. Again, it was an election year so it wasn’t something that anybody wanted to be talking about front and center. I believe that the incoming mayor wants us to remain in D.C. We have to figure out how to do that in a way that makes sense. At the same time, there’s a real opportunity, I think, in Baltimore. We’re going to have to weigh the realities that we’re faced with."

-D.C. United President & CEO Kevin Payne to the Washington Examiner's Craig Stouffer

I'm not one to take jabs at fans of other teams about any potential move that may be on the horizon. I'll talk about your mayor and your momma but joking about your club being relocated just crosses the line; some things have to be sacred dammit.

For this reason I haven't messed with D.C. & their situation in the foster home that is RFK Stadium. But the more I read about this B-more feasibility study and the less I hear about any other options I'm really starting to feel like it only a matter of time before they relocate to the land of crab cakes and Natty Boh.

Now I'm not a United fan by any stretch but a move for them would be a real shame for the club and it's fans (and the league). Still, if they had to go somewhere Baltimore would probably be the least painful option. Like I said, I hope it doesn't happen but it beats moving to Orlando or someplace whack like that (sorry Aztex fans).